Oh, Canada…
Yes, there is some MLS news out there like Dave Sarachan getting fired in Chicago (which happened to make the Sky Sports News ticker) or Chris Klein traded to LA. There are also rumors of Sven-Goran Eriksson returning to England to manage Manchester City. However, I’d rather discuss tonight’s Gold Cup semi-final. I could go on about how the United States has looked excellent with the exception of finishing, but I’d rather discuss the opponent for the Americans
Hello, Canada. I admit that I really don’t have anything against you or your soccer team. In fact, I really like your country. However, because our soccer teams are meeting each other tonight, I’m obligated to hate you for the next 24 hours. It’s nothing personal, just business.
And I won’t make all of the typical jokes about monopoly money, Don Cherry’s fashion sense, or how Tim Horton’s is a couple steps away from taking over the entire country. Still, I hope we can kick the back bacon stink of your soccer team out of the Gold Cup tonight (okay, I made one typical joke). I may actually say some things in the heat of the moment that are pretty mean and over the top. I’ll ask for forgiveness, and since you Canadians are so nice (and I mean that sincerely), you’ll probably accept my apology.
So for now, I offer these final words to you, Canada. Enjoy
In case you didn’t know, this video is from one of the greatest episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever. If you get the chance, get a copy of episode 910, The Final Sacrifice, and watch it. And if the video offended you in any way, do as the MST3K theme song says: “Just repeat to yourself ‘It’s just a show. I should really just relax’.”
US Soccer, Canadian Soccer, Gold Cup
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